Life or Lies? / Poem

I am confused, I am dejected.
Frustration, irritation and pain,
Engulf every nerve,
Entwines me in this bloody truth-
Today, I am going to die.
Once the center of mob,
Once the charm of luck,
Image of well being- but-
Now,  I lay orphaned, cold,
Emotions all dried up,
Just like my hope.
I will not let even God save me today.

I am confused, I am dejected.
For I never knew and
I will never know-
If I had a life full of cakes and pastries,
Or I lived a life of lies.
But when my brain displays a bit of sympathy,
When my memories prick me-
Maybe to see if I am still alive-
I feel the latter more soothing.
I doubt if all the cakes have made me toxic.
If all the pastries have been adulterated.
Or maybe, I knew this all the while,
And I chose to be consciously unaware.
Something I conveniently ignored.

I am confused, I am dejected.
My childhood, adolescence, adulthood-
I could see like views through a foggy glass,
My happiness, excitement, sadness-
An invisible thread knitted them.
My love seemed an illusion.
The many raspberries for breakfast,
The many travel plans made,
And how I preserved the old truck bunker,
Just for the beauty of flowers around them.
The joy I found playing with rubber duckies.
I have breezed so far from them all,
And I could see a dress so red afar.
But were they all for real ?
Or a silly magic of the great Magician?
In which he showed us everything sweet,
And gave us a bowl of bitterness.
I will gulp this down, just the way he wanted,
And I will not let him save me today.
I have had my fill of life,
And today, I am going to die.

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie – Sunday Writing Prompt – COLLAGE

10 thoughts on “Life or Lies? / Poem

Add yours

  1. Ohhh This is superb!!!!
    The emotions have been so finely threaded here… Our memories do seem like an illusion as we start growing! The things about which we cared more than our life itself seem useless later. We want them but no, we don’t want them.
    Repetition of the line “I’m confused, I’m dejected” makes your poem even more intense!
    I’m loving this a lot! 💖💖💖

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Aww… For me no post is old or new. All of your works are so engrossing that make me read more and more! 😃😃
        Your happiness is reflected through your comments because when we’re ecstatic we type very fast and a few letters just jump at the wrong places! 😄❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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